According to dictionary.com, Tact = Acute sensitivity to what is proper and appropriate in dealing with others, including the ability to speak or act without offending.
Are you born with tact or is it learned behavior? I don't think I've ever seen this as a measured personality variable which might indicate that this is not innate? How do you teach your kids to have tact? Or do they have to be on the other side of hurtful "dealings" in order to say to themselves, “I’m never going to make someone else feel this way?” These are the thoughts that have gone through my mind lately as I’ve witnessed acts of tactlessness, not only with myself but with others close to me. It made me start thinking about how I would ensure that my children have tact. How do you teach someone to have tact? And if you don’t start at an early age, is it ever too late for tact training?
If you know or work with someone who doesn’t have tact, are you still allowed to be offended by things they say? Or are we required to just suck it up and excuse their behavior, since “they don’t know any better.” I usually not come back swinging when it happens to me (it’s just not in my personality to do so) but sometimes I wish I had said something a bit more clever in the moment. There are two occasions in my life that stand out as situations where I was clearly dealing with an individual with no tact. On these two occasions, what was said to me was so personally offensive that I was in shock. As the shock wore off, I actually tried to point out the error of their ways and continue polite conversation in order to try to get them to see how offensive they were being. On both of these occasions it didn’t seem to work. It’s been a while since both of these situations occurred and I’m still in touch with both of these individuals (although our relationships were never the same). Neither of them seem to have a clue as to what happened.
What needs to take place in order for the individual without tact to recognize that he/she does not have tact? Do they need to lose friendships or get passed up for promotions? Does someone need to point it out to them? I’ve never heard of an organization including tact training as part of their organizational training catalog. If anyone out there has, I’d be very curious to know what was taught and how it was discussed. It is my personal opinion that having tact is not something that is only useful in our everyday lives, it is extremely useful in the workplace. However, I’m certain that there are probably countless executives who are considered to be extremely successful who could probably use a lesson in tact.
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3 comments:
I think that everyone should go on a show like "real world"...ok...not necessarily "real world" - but a show where they can see how they act with others and how others receive them. Sometimes you don't even know how selfish or unacceptable you're being. (I speak from experience!) :-)
Tact or ably dealing with social niceties and challenges certainly is learned - but certain personalities likely lend themselves to both seeing a need for tact (and reading the situation and reading it accurately) as well as caring about using tact.
Tact is an art, that is reflective of training, and the person wanting to be tactful. You need both the skills and the desire to be tactful.
Much like assessing coachability - many of our clients have to want to have a skill as well have a path for gaining that skill. It can be done, but requires work!... See More
As a final note, many leaders and professionals seem to accept that high levels of success give them a "pass" on tact. That is exactly opposite of what is true. The higher you go, the more you need Tact - rudeness is one of the quickest ways to derail in a highly visible position. (think of politicians who neglected the social niceties or CEOs who say an off-color joke).
Keep posting stuff like this i really like it
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